Mar 9

Written by: Mike Martinez
3/9/2010 9:49 AM

REAL WOMAN OF GENIUS ... An unidentified 47-year-old woman was doing some heavy drinking at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Manitowoc, Wisconsin, and at some point, got the bright idea that she was going to HAND-FEED one of the zoo's Asiatic bears.

So she climbed over a barrier surrounding the bear enclosure, and reached down to feed the animals. At which point the bear promptly bit down on her hand, completely severing her THUMB and FOREFINGER.

Now don't you feel a little better about YOUR drunken antics over the weekend?

COPS CALLED OVER STRANGE NOISE THAT TURNS OUT TO BE VIBRATOR ... An unidentified woman in western Germany called police to report a strange noise coming from her bedroom. When the officers showed up, they realized the sound was coming from a drawer in her wardrobe. And when they looked inside, they found the source ...

As the police statement put it, the investigating officer found, quote, "a very personal, battery-operated object which had obviously switched itself on." DOH!

DRIVING WHILE SHAVING ... I see people eating, texting or putting on makeup while driving just about every day. But THIS takes driving while distracted to a whole new level:

37-year-old Megan Barnes was driving to meet her boyfriend in Key West, Florida, when she accidentally slammed into a pickup truck, causing minor injuries to the driver and two passengers.

Apparently, the driver of the pickup had slowed down to make a turn. But Megan was too distracted to notice because while she was driving, she was in the middle of SHAVING HER VA JAY-JAY!!!

According to the arresting officer, quote, "She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit."

Megan was arrested and charged with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of a wreck with injuries, and driving with no insurance. If she's convicted, she could get up to a year in prison.
 

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