Mar 9

Written by: Mike Martinez
3/9/2010 9:51 AM

HERE SHE COMES, MISS CAPTIVE BEAUTY ... Big ups and major props are in order for 22 year old Cecilia Juarez. Cecilia was just crowned Miss Captive Beauty 2010 during a beauty pageant for the women inmates at the Cereso prison in Juárez. Ms. Juarez has been behind bars for two months on drug charges and awaits sentencing.

CRACK HEAD BEAT DOWN FOR PAYING WITH MONOPOLY MONEY ... Here's more proof the crack don't smoke itself!

Last Thursday, police in Wichita, Kansas, made a routine traffic stop. When they approached the car, they noticed the driver - an unidentified 33-year-old man - was bleeding from his head. The cops asked the man what happened, and he launched into a story about how he'd used Monopoly money to pay his CRACK DEALER, and the pummeling was payback for his drug-induced stupidity.

Now the police are looking for the drug dealer in order to charge him with the assault, but the junkie is refusing to cooperate. Imagine that.

DAN RATHER USES "OBAMA" AND "WATERMELONS" IN THE SAME SENTENCE ... DAN RATHER was on the "Chris Matthews Show"speaking about President Obama's healthcare bill and accidentally stepped on the landmine that is UNINTENTIONAL RACISM!!!
 

Come on, Dan! Why's it got to be watermelons? Obviously you were talking about an argument some people might use AGAINST Obama. But still, you may as well have said FRIED CHICKEN or GRAPE SODA, because that's basically all we heard anyway.

THE iPHONE CAN BE ADDICTIVE ... According to a new study from Stanford University, the iPhone actually can be ADDICTING.

According to the study, THREE in FOUR iPhone users admit they take their phone to bed with them. And 69% say they're more likely to forget their wallet than to leave home without their iPhone.

Nearly ONE in FOUR iPhone users say they think of the device as an extension of their body, and 41% say it'd be a "tragedy" if they lost their iPhone.

Sadly, those aren't even the study's most pathetic findings . . .

3% of people say they won't let anyone else touch their iPhone. And another 3% admit they've NAMED their iPhone. Meanwhile, 8% of iPhone users admit they've wondered if their iPod is JEALOUS of their iPhone. WTW!!!???
 

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