Sep 2

Written by: Mike Martinez
9/2/2010 8:43 AM

SHOT IN THE HEAD ... A 35-year old Polish man living in Germany went to the doctor to have him look at a cyst growing on the back of his head. Only it wasn’t a cyst.

It was a .22-caliber BULLET stuck in the back of his SKULL!!! He said he may have been shot in the head on New Year’s Eve in either 2004 or 2005 - he’s not sure which because he was too drunk.
Apparently the bullet lodged in his skull and his skin grew over the wound. Let me go ahead and say proudly I have never been that drunk.

STUFFED ANIMALS ... According to the hotel chain Traveloge, one in four grown men travels with a stuffed animal. They know this because they collect the animals left behind and return them to their owners.

Some of the men surveyed say they’re gifts from their wives and girlfriends and they take them along to remind them of their sweeties. Hey, any excuse you need to save face, buddy. I, on the other hand, leave Mr. Monkey-Face home when I travel.

DRUNK STUDENT CAUGHT PEEING ON CHURCH WALL ... 19-year-old Jacob Pleban – a sophomore at Miami University of Ohio -was caught by the cops drunkenly RELIEVING HIMSELF on the back wall of a Methodist church.

When asked if he realized he was doing that to a Methodist church, he told them it was okay because, quote, "I'm Catholic."That answer wasn't good enough for the cops so I'm guessing one day, it also won't be good enough for Jesus.

He was charged with public urination, disorderly conduct and underage intoxication.

THE BEST NAME TO CALL BOOBS IS ... Guys LOVE coming up with new terms for women's breasts. You know, like "cans" , "sweater puppies" , and "funbags.” I'm guessing that's why the website Jezebel took a poll to come up with our favorite all-time term.

And the winner was . . . boobs, with 47% of the vote. The next runner-up was a word that rhymes with 'Ritz.' That got 23% of the vote.

Some of the other popular terms were: Knockers, chesticles, "the girls", ta-tas, and rack. Some of the less popular submissions in the poll were "Thelma and Louise" and "Tweety and Sylvester."

XANAX FALLS OUT FROM DOWN THERE ... 22-year-old Elizabeth Athenia Progris of Stuart, Florida, was arrested for an undisclosed probation violation and sent to jail. When she was being booked, she told the officials that she didn't have any contraband on her.

She was searched and nothing turned up, so a deputy took her to shower. Elizabeth was drying off afterwards, when the deputy saw something fall from her, quote, "GENITAL AREA" and land by her feet.

The deputy grabbed it and found it was a bag containing several white pills, later identified as generic Xanax. Two felony charges were tacked on to Elizabeth’s original charges.

Tags: